In May, I posted an update about this guy named Zeb, and how we were dating now, etc. etc.
Things have been going pretty well since then, as we've settled into the routines of a relationship. Zeb works at my cousin's grass seed and grain warehouse, just a few minutes away from my little trailer. So most days I make lunch and he comes over during his break, and many days we also have supper together. I love the structure this gives my days, as well as the opportunity to express my value of caring for the people around me. And Zeb loves my cooking. 😁
So every day Zeb comes over for lunch, gives me a hug, says hello to Bailey, and politely asks Izzy to make room for him on the couch. I love that we get this time to be together and feel at home. I love that my girls adore him. Bailey asks for belly rubs and climbs in his lap. Izzy scoots a little closer to him on the couch and licks his arm. I love that we're a little family.
I've written before about how important these kinds of patterns are to me.
So, overall life hasn't been the easiest thing, (when is it ever?) but it's been good.
Apparently Zeb agrees with me.
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On Saturday, November 18th, he proposed.
I had been somewhat anxiously awaiting this development, and then when it happened I was completely blindsided. Apparently Zeb had been carrying this locket around for weeks, waiting for the perfect moment. And then, on this particular Saturday, he just decided it felt right. There was nothing special that day. We were just hanging out before going to get groceries together. But Zeb decided it felt like the right time, so he texted Hannah.
Hannah was having our friend Maggie over for a Harry Potter marathon, and had made her own butterscotch sauce for butterbeer. She invited us up to try some butterscotch, and I suspected nothing.
Hannah has a really old phone, and it takes... not great pictures. So I told her a long time ago that I don't want the only pictures of me getting engaged to be on her phone.
Hannah asked for a phone with a good camera, to take pictures of my reaction to the butterscotch, and I still suspected nothing.
Hannah started explaining to Maggie that, "Dolly is just so picky about phone cameras," and I immediately protested.
"I just don't want my engagement or wedding pictures to be taken with your phone!" I explained, as Zeb got down on one knee. I still suspected nothing.
With a spoonful of butterscotch in my mouth, I turned to look at Zeb, on one knee, and I just sorta blanked. I turned towards Hannah, who was at the ready with Zeb's phone camera, and the realization dawned. In my shock, I didn't notice that there was a spoon in my mouth. Thankfully, Hannah did notice, and removed it, although I didn't even realize it at the time.
Zeb asked me to marry him, and I said yes. And then I had my first kiss, and we all sat around Hannah's table and drank Martinelli's while I tried to breathe at a normal rate.
The not-quite-three-weeks since then have been... Busy? Hectic? Stressful? Wonderful?
All of the above. From budgeting to scheduling to dreaming to asking people to help, it's been a very full time. We have venues and photography booked, my friend William took our engagement pictures, my mom and Auntie Dorcas have started the dress-making process, my Auntie Arlene is practicing embroidery, I asked my friend Maggie to make me a flower crown, Hannah is planning to make just ... so many cupcakes, our pastor Ranee lined up church venues for us, another pastor-friend has agreed to do premarital counseling with us....
I know I'm missing people.
I'm already amazed at the ways so many people want to help and be involved and show us love and support. You're each so kind and wonderful. Thank you. ❤️
Still, there are a lot of things that we're not able to outsource just yet. Zeb and I have kinda split up some of the communication duties. "I'll reach out to ______, and you can be the one to draft an email to ___________?"
We brainstorm and plan together, and it's been really fun for me to hear his ideas. He's the one that reminds me that we still have time. The entire wedding doesn't need to be planned in a week. It's important to talk about other things and have mental downtime. He helps me solve problems, and also reminds me that they're not all urgent.
He's not the only one reminding me to rest. I remember one day in particular, that I had woken up 3 hours early and immediately started working on wedding planning. When Hannah woke up, she forbade me from doing any other wedding planning for the rest of the day. She then informed me that she had to go to work at 11, and had therefore enlisted Maggie to take over checking in with me for the afternoon.
I'm grateful for such good friends.
As we get into the holiday season, I especially need to take all their advice to heart. This can be a busy and somewhat frantic time under any circumstances, much as that seems it should be counterintuitive. I'm trying not to get swept away by gift lists and travel and events, in much the same way I'm trying to keep dresses and decorations and save the dates in their proper place. What I mean is, these are all accessories to my life, not the focus. A wedding is about commitment more than color schemes. And Christmas is about peace and hope more than presents and plans.
I want to take my time and enjoy this time.
After all, it's my first Christmas with a fiance.
~Dolly soonish-to-be Berg