Newly-Wedded Life

 Yesterday I told Zeb I felt more like a wife before we got married than now. He understood before I even had a chance to explain.

Just a few very short and also somehow extremely long weeks ago, we had a routine. I had my little schedule and I would make meals for us, and it all made me feel like a little homemaker. But now we're in the process of actually building a home kinda from scratch, and I don't feel quite so peaceful about it, hahaha. I told Auntie Dorcas the other day that organizing was easy when I lived in the trailer. Plates go in the singular kitchen cupboard because that's the only place to put them, etc. Now things are a bit different. Between me and Zeb I think we have 4 full dish sets, and that's not counting mugs and teacups and my grandma's cut glass ice cream bowls that I inherited. We also have roughly a dozen cupboards and half a dozen drawers and a small pantry, and now I don't know where to put anything. 

Except silverware. I'm becoming slightly convinced that every kitchen has a specific drawer that is naturally meant to hold silverware, even if there are plenty of what appear to be equally valid options. There's only one drawer that really wants to hold silverware, and it will tell you which one it is.

Unfortunately our silverware organizer doesn't fit perfectly in the true silverware drawer, so we have to use a secondary choice and hope that the true silverware drawer will forgive us. Or rearrange all the kitchen drawers until things are in their proper places. Jury is still out on which option we'll pursue at this time. 

I feel like the thing people actually want to know about is the in-between point. 

I used to be not-married but I felt like a homemaker. 

Now I'm married and my home is somewhat just chaos.

Now, what could have happened in between? Maybe... this?

Yes, we did indeed get married.

It was a two-day affair, for multiple reasons. One reason was the date itself. Zeb's birthday is March 26, and mine is May 26, so we got married on April 26, right in the middle. 😁 April 26 just so happened to be a Friday, which can be a lot less doable for people to come to. So we decided to have a small ceremony on Friday the 26th, and a bigger reception the next day. 

Another reason for our approach, and a much more significant one, was the vibes. Or, maybe more accurately, our values and priorities. We wanted to prioritize the commitment of our vows, and we also wanted our friends and family to have a really fun time that wasn't entirely focused on us. We wanted to be participants more than a spectacle. 

So we had a really small ceremony, with just a few family and close friends... although now that I think about it, there was only one attendee who wasn't related to either one of us. 😅 There wasn't a ton of ceremony, either. No sermon, just a few words from our pastor before we washed each other's feet and said our vows. 

I think my favorite part of the ceremony was the time for other people to say prayers or other nice things for us/to us. Either that or dinner, haha. Zeb and I had been up late-ish the night before prepping soup in the instant pot. Day-of, we just added water and turned on the heat while we were getting ready! We also brought rolls, butter, and Caesar salad kits. I was so worried about not having enough food, but there were plenty of leftovers. It was really nice to just have, essentially, a chill family dinner. There were jokes and silly conversations, and it was exactly the right thing to help counteract any wedding jitters. It's also a good thing the ceremony was so chill, because we had a busy day! 

In the morning we went to our reception venue and helped set up and decorate. It turned out so beautifully, and I'm really grateful for everyone who came and helped, especially those who had just been traveling the day before! After setup Zeb and I went to our Halsey apartment to let my little sibling J in, took Zeb's cousin Alex over to my great uncle and aunt Rich and Arlene's place where he would be spending the night, and then went to the ceremony venue and did setup there. 😅

After the ceremony and dinner, we went back to our apartment and chilled with J and my cousin Daisi, who spent the night there. Thankfully we have a guest room and a really comfy couch!! A few people expressed... I'm going to go with surprise and mildly amused indignation that we were hosting people on our wedding night. But as I said before, one of our priorities was to be participants in the events of the weekend, and not just the spectacle at the center of everyone's attention. 

Saturday morning was an adventure! 

J's car had popped a tire the night before, so that needed to be resolved. Between 3 people and 4 vehicles we had enough jacks and wrenches and whatever else to get things figured out. I did my makeup while Zeb helped Daisi and J get ready to go to Les Schwab for new tires, and swap them out for the old ones. I had just finished letting Hannah know that we would be late to the reception, when Zeb came in and announced with a very fatherly pride, "I think they've got it."

So off we went, leaving J's car on a jack, and Daisi and J heading to Les Schwab in Daisi's car.

We were late to the reception, but that was fine since there weren't a lot of people there yet. We went for a more open-house, family reunion vibe for things. It was a good chance to admire all the decorations that we'd helped set up the day before.

 

I got together with some of my friends ahead of time, and we painted all the little mushrooms that were on the tables! 😊

While Zeb and I greeted people at the door and hung out with our bouncer Kallin and his wife Danielle, our guests got to talk and play games and sign the guestbook, etc. We had Dutch Blitz and cornhole and temporary tattoos and mad libs about the proposal, and most importantly... Twister! 

Helping my little cousin get a tattoo.

I've been determined, for months, to play Twister in my wedding dress, and I finally had the opportunity... for maybe two minutes, hahaha. I was the first one out. By contrast, Zeb's nieces and our friend Grace are basically undefeatable in Twister, I'm pretty sure.

Lunch was graciously provided by basically everyone, hahaha. My dad provided all the proteins, which was amazing. Hannah baked a bunch of cupcakes. Aunt Bonnie made our perfect little wedding cake. And the sides were all provided by many of our guests, via potluck. Our heartfelt thanks to all of y'all!

After all the food we had a mini ceremony. We planned to play a video of Zeb proposing, and everything was all hooked up but for some reason there was no audio! Zeb's great at tech stuff, but he was busy searching his phone for the vows he was about to say, since the paper had been left at home. 

The lights were off, everyone was waiting...

Zeb's sister Bri was our fabulous MC, and she suggested we basically narrate the proposal video. Obviously Zeb could not participate since he was trying to find a picture of his vows on his phone. I decided to try to save the day for everyone by narrating the vows so people weren't all just watching a still of the video, and hopefully that would also buy Zeb enough time. The video played, I gave my perspective (emphasizing that I jokingly said "no" at first), and Zeb found his vows just in time! 

In all the scuffle we forgot to put my wedding veil on, and we also forgot that our pastor Ranee was supposed to basically MC the mini ceremony portion. 

We just got up there and said our vows and realized afterwards. 😅 So we had Ranee pray with us at that point, and then pastor Ruba, who did our premarital counseling. 

I think the next part was my favorite: toasts and open mic. Shout-out to Zeb's cousin Jonah, who was in charge of the mute button in case of a really long or somehow offensive speech. Luckily he didn't need to exercise his power, hahaha!

My best friend Hannah, and Zeb's cousin Alex, both gave pre-planned toasts, and then anyone else was welcome to come say whatever they felt like saying. Thankfully people felt like saying nice things. 😁 I took videos of all of these said nice things, and I watch them back sometimes. I think the most consistent themes through all of them are: Zeb is a strong person of faith, and I talk a lot. 

Next was a photo hour, where we just posed with anyone who wanted to take pictures with us! Our photographer did a great job at getting everyone to look in the right direction at the right time, which is not easy with big groups and/or small children. (Shout-out to Lois Sophia!!) It was also a great way for us to chat for a bit with people. 

At this point the crowd had thinned quite a bit, and there were exactly the right amount of people left for the hymn sing. It's always so nice to return to the music I grew up with: acapella in 4-part harmony. Those who weren't as interested in the singing started on teardown, which was really nice of them. Once all our voices were tired (mostly the sopranos after a particularly high descant on the chorus of the last song) it was time for a sendoff! Zeb and I ran through a cloud of bubbles, which Bailey was not sure about, as everyone cheered and waved. 

The whole two days were both so good. Not perfect by any means, but so good. We felt loved and celebrated, and I hope everyone else felt appreciated and included as well. 

If you would like to see pictures, please join our wedding Google album and look through what everyone else saw! Or add pictures of your own. Seeing what everyone else got to experience brings me a lot of joy. 😊 I also added the videos of our vows from the reception and all the toasts and such. Facebook won't let me upload the full length, so you'll have to use the Google album if you want to see both of our vows. 

I think that's basically it! We've been back from the honeymoon for a couple of weeks, and life is very full! Moving is so mentally taxing, plus Zeb's work keeps him on his toes, and we're trying to connect and reconnect with people. I'm still not back to volunteering or working yet. But if you can be patient for a bit longer, I'm sure we'll see you at some point! It just takes time to get to everything, and I have to remind myself that it doesn't need to all be a rush. Progress matters, even if it's not super speedy. And we have the rest of our lives (however long that will be) to figure this out. 

Thanks for reading! 

~Dolly