While we were there, the fuel pump on our truck went out, so we got to stay an extra day with my uncle's family up there. I decided to have a mini-adventure, and went to school with my younger cousins.
It wasn't nearly as awkward as I thought it'd be.
Anyway, (I'm actually approaching my point here!)
The high school teacher gave a mini-lecture on writing, which fired me up. I grabbed my cousin's notebook and a pencil and started scribbling. And when I reread it, I thought, "Ya know, this could be a blog post!"
And then our truck got fixed and we went home the next day and I left it behind!
Fortunately, I have an awesome Aunt Twila, who mailed a couple of ratty notebook papers to me with a little note on the envelope saying that these were "good words". Now they are in my hand, so I can type them up and you can read them, if you want.
Spiritual gifts fascinate me. They're a sort of Heavenly psychology- instead of personality types and traits, they're these divinely - appointed abilities, custom - fit to each of god's dear ones. Each of us has a unique place, a unique combination of supernatural characteristics that give us a specific spot in God's story. It's awesome!
But, I think even more interestingly, each gift represents an aspect of God's character. My gift of mercy can help me see people through God's eyes, while someone else's gift of knowledge can give them a much clearer view of truth than I may ever have. That's why church is so important- none of us can fully represent God's character alone. We're too small. But with all of us standing together and operating in our understanding of God's individual traits, we can better represent Him as a whole.
To be honest, this gets me kind of hyped up. There's something about realizing what a small part you play, but that it's intrinsic to a much larger whole. And by "larger" I mean intergalactic. Because our God's that big.
Moving on, though, (because I can't think of a better transition) one of God's traits that absolutely intrigues me is His creativity. The study of His mind is very personal to me, because it seems to be a tad bit overlooked. I guess that's understandable. God's creativity, in the sense that I mean, isn't really the thing that we base major doctrines off of. But knowing that God thinks the same way I do, (just. . . to the nth, because, you know, He's God) makes Him so much more relatable! And no doctrine, no matter how true, can match the thrill of getting to know a Being so beyond human grasp.
Now, hang on for a moment. This is the good stuff. This is why I love having a creative God. Here goes:
This fantastical. . . Being, Who's always been, Who has more power than I could ever dream of, Who literally is the only thing keeping our little Earth-rock from spinning out of control, this God had an eternity to wait until He made everything. I would get bored. But, of course, God didn't. He was busy.
For a whole forever, God planned. Sort of a holy drawing-board. He sat and decided to stripe His zebras. To make cats the floppiest mammals. To make dessert flowers so small we can't see them- they're just there because He felt like it.
And then, I think God got so excited about His ideas He had to talk about them. And in His still, small voice that can melt worlds, God spoke. And as He talked about His fantastic ideas, because He's God, they happened.
And God, with all His power that I can't imagine, holiness I can't grasp, and creativity without edges, decided He wanted me here. Me, with my depression and anxiety and physical deformities and incapabilites and everything else. . . He decided that I was worth His time and His effort, so He planned me out- frizzy hair to missing fingers. The God of everything came up with the idea for me. And He decided I was worth the effort it would take Him to make me and win me. Somehow, my being in Heaven someday is so important to God that He risked all the pain I put Him through, (He knew what He was getting into) and God. Made. Me.
If He can invest so much, maybe I can live through today. Since He risked His heart in starting the beat of mine, I can learn, just a little today, about the beat of His heart that's big enough to hold all of us and strong enough to break for each of us.
Apparently He thinks I'm worth His time.
I know He's worth my life.
May you find the same to be true for you. God thinks you're worth His effort and risk, and whether or not you believe it, I do.
~Dolly
Totally AMEN.
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