Stereotype Challenge #1: Depression
If you know me, you probably think of me as a relatively happy person. That's the first myth of depression. You might not know that someone has it. I'm not constantly depressed, for one thing, and for another, I can sometimes hide it. But the biggest reason is this: If I'm depressed, you probably won't be there. I will be at home, slogging through it, and only the people closest to me will know.
The second myth, the one I encounter all the time in Christian circles, is that depression is purely spiritual or mental. I don't become depressed because of 'negative self-talk' or whatever; I berate myself, or allow Satan to berate me because the depression is already there. It makes me weaker, more open to spiritual attack, but my depression is not a purely spiritual problem.
Also, fixing the way I view myself will not fix the problem. It might make things slightly easier, but it definitely won't fix the problem. Negativity is a symptom or by-product of depression, not the cause of it, and to just combat depression on a spiritual or mental level might not work for everyone.
One other thing: DO NOT accuse a depressed person of just not seeking God enough. It makes sense, apparently, because if someone is depressed, they must not be experiencing the 'joy of the Lord.' Thus, it follows that if I just pray enough, read my Bible enough, trust God enough, cast out enough spirits in the name of Jesus, or anything else you want to put in there, my depression will miraculously be gone!
But.
This is dangerously close to legalism. Also, I can't speak for everybody: we're all different, but I accuse myself enough already, especially when I'm depressed. (Negative self-talk, remember?) I don't want to come across as some accusatory know-it-all, so sorry if that's the case. I guess I'm just making an appeal to God's people to remember to act with grace. (And yeah, ok, I really need that reminder too, especially with how this blog post is going. )
Closely related to that myth is the thought that there is always (or almost always) an obvious mental or emotional cause for depression.
Depression doesn't need a reason. It can strike out at anyone, and the church (including myself) needs to learn how to empathize.
Some people do have depression battles stemming from intense grief or trauma, but others may be depressed because of hormones or other physical reasons that are less obvious. The question, "What do you have to be depressed for?" can't always be answered. When I was asked that (by someone I love dearly), my life was pretty easy and good. There were no obvious "reasons" for my depression. It just was.
Honestly, my life is still pretty easy. I shouldn't struggle with depression, right? My parents love me and the Lord, I'm at a healthy church, and no one's bullying me or anything. Not only that, but I am seeking God. Depression just doesn't always mean that a person's life is terrible.
Fourthly, depression is not my, or anyone else's identity. It is a disease, a handicap we struggle against. Honestly, non-depressed people probably already agree with this. It's for those of us in the middle of the problem, that I write this. Depression is not my fault, or your fault. Just like a person with a physical handicap can live life, they just need to work a little harder on some things than other people, so we with an emotional handicap can live life, it's just a lot (yes, I'll admit it) harder for us than for some other people.
We can't control that. And just as someone with paralyzed legs can use a wheelchair, we should use the resources available to us. Whether those be emotional/spiritual counselling, natural medicine, or drugs, there are options for us. I know that sometimes it's quite literally impossible to think rationally or make any sort of decisions. I've been there waaayyyy too many times! So, one of the biggest resources to utilize, is other people. People who at least somewhat understand and/or are willing to learn how life is for you and what can be done to help. Mostly just people you know you can depend on to make good decisions when you can't.
For non-depressed people, I guess I'd just ask you to be the kind of person others can count on in their times of need. It's something we all long to do, I think. We want to be useful and helpful to the people around us, right?
Well, you are. When you listen and love and don't judge, you are doing exactly what God designed you to do. Thank you for that.
Farewell! Hope this made some semblence of sense!
~Dolly
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