In Review

Wow... I've officially had a blog for a year!

So far there've been:
3 Facelifts
23 Posts Published
55 Facebook Followers (Increase the number here) 😉
and a LOT of Things learned. Things like:
How to use emojis on blogger 😑😶😀😏🌝😻🙀😸💓💁💚💛💜 (etc., etc.)
How to make posts accessible
How to write clearly
and very importantly, How to be honest. Because that's hard, especially here on the interwebs.

I've shared about my dreams and struggles and other stuff. Not everything of course, but. . . enough, I guess. So here's where my life's at now:

I'm still living in the little shop apartment with Bailey. It's been fun! Not exactly sunshine and roses though. My house is a mess, (and I don't say that lightly) Bailey and I both have anxiety issues, and I really hate washing dishes. If I'm not careful to regulate Bailey and my routine, she has an annoying tendency to pee on my clothes or poop on the floor. And until maybe a week ago (when my best friend saved my knees and back from hours of scrubbing) the bathroom floor was covered in dried kitten diarrhea. It smelled amazing! 🙄😷😑

I've mostly graduated high school. . . Just the scariest part to go! #GED #MathAndScience I'd love to get a job, honestly, but finishing the GED test comes first. And then learning to properly keep house. As in, consistently. And then, maybe I'll believe I have what it takes to enter the workforce! Of course, that's all my plan. God might very well have something else up His sleeve, and if so, I'll probably kick and scream and then write a lovely blog post about His plan- once I settle down.

Spiritually I feel like Habakkuk, crying,

How long, LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen? Or cry out to you, 'Violence!' but you do not save? 

Why do you make me look at injustice? Why do you tolerate wrongdoing? Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds. 

Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails. The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.

These verses just. . . resonate with me. I know I'm not the only of God's small ones that raises a cry. We look around and then shout, "Daddy God! Look! Violence- people are killing each other and wounding hearts and look at all of us down here bleeding! Government isn't working, we don't trust our leaders, and right and wrong are so tangled we can hardly tell what's what! ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING?"

And of course, we know He is listening. I think. 😕 He must be, because I believe His reply to Habakkuk is still valid for me, right now.

“Look at the nations and watch— and be utterly amazed. For I am going to do something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told. ..."

So, I'll try to wait. I'm watching.

Y'know, all this time I thought Habakkuk was just kinda. . . stuck in there. Like filler material with a conveniently laughable name. In fact, I felt that way about most of the minor prophets. Then, of course, I gave myself a challenge of reading through them all. (Not for any spiritual reason. I just wanna be able to say that I've read the whole Bible except Song of Songs so I can quit being such a disappointment to our youth pastor.)

But it's been good. And now I hafta go home to my house and quit using my parents' internet.

Goodnight everyone! I might not know you, but I love you! If that makes sense. . . Whatever. Byeee~!

~Dolly

Am I a Good Samaritan?

Hello! Just imagine an introduction here: I have none. 😁

The Parable of the Good Samaritan

25 And behold, a certain lawyer stood up and tested Him, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?”26 He said to him, “What is written in the law? What is your reading of it?”27 So he answered and said, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’”28 And He said to him, “You have answered rightly; do this and you will live.”29 But he, wanting to justify himself, said to Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”30 Then Jesus answered and said: “A certain man went down from Jerusalem to Jericho, and fell among thieves, who stripped him of his clothing, wounded him, and departed, leaving him half dead. 31 Now by chance a certain priest came down that road. And when he saw him, he passed by on the other side. 32 Likewise a Levite, when he arrived at the place, came and looked, and passed by on the other side. 33 But a certain Samaritan, as he journeyed, came where he was. And when he saw him, he had compassion. 34 So he went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine; and he set him on his own animal, brought him to an inn, and took care of him. 35 On the next day, when he departed, he took out two denarii, gave them to the innkeeper, and said to him, ‘Take care of him; and whatever more you spend, when I come again, I will repay you.’ 36 So which of these three do you think was neighbor to him who fell among the thieves?”37 And he said, “He who showed mercy on him.”Then Jesus said to him, “Go and do likewise.”

I've been reading a book Alana, one of the youth leaders at church, gave me. It's A Glorious Dark by A.J. Swoboda, and it's definitely something I'd recommend! (Like, go read it. Now.)

Anyway, in one of the last chapters, Swoboda starts talking about the parable of The Good Samaritan. Y'know, the story Jesus tells to teach us all to be "Good Samaritans" to everybody around us, right? But then he goes into a story about his friend who visited Tanzania, which is a really low-economy, physically unhealthy country. And the Tanzanians were all like, "Good Samaritans? Yeah! Those are all the people who come and help us!"

They identified with the beat-up guy!

Which slightly stunned me. I had no idea that there even could be another perspective on this story!

But what if the Tanzanian perspective is closer, and we're all just helpless people bleeding in a ditch?

Later that evening I was talking to my cousin Daisi, and told her what I'd read. We both like hearing/thinking about perspectives beyond our own, so I thought she might find it interesting. While we were chatting, something hit me, and when I passed it on Daisi thought it sounded well-thought out. I had just come up with it off the top of my head. That's a pretty sure sign someone *cough, God, coughcough* came up with the idea, and someone not being me!

Here's what He mentioned:

What if Jesus is the Good Samaritan?
I mean, He was God and human: Samaritans were Jew and gentile. Jesus was a misunderstood outcast, attacked especially by the Jews: Samaritans were social outcasts, and the word "Samaritan" was banned from being spoken by Jews. (I think. Either way, the Jews HATED Samaritans.)

And in context of a devout Jew asking Jesus a question, it makes no sense that the young hotshot would see himself as the Samaritan in this story! He'd want to admit to identifying more with a beat up guy than a... Samaritan.

Which puts a whole 'nother spin on the story. Think of it this way:
We go through life, and at some point, everyone gets knocked out by something. That tragedy, struggle, loss, addiction, etc. that leaves us completely powerless. We turn to religion (the Priest) or our learned knowledge (the Levite) for help, but they can't offer any solutions. We're disillusioned, spiritually/emotionally bleeding, and have no way to fix anything. Then a Samaritan comes...Jesus. We've heard of Him. He wants to take charge of our lives, He claims to be God, He's supposed to have done unrealistically amazing things. But He's the only one who can help and heal us.

We don't save anyone. He saves us.

Ouch. That dings the pride a bit. But isn't that kinda the whole idea of the Bible? It turns our thinking upside-down. I don't know why I always assumed this was the one story that could feed my ego a bit, because that's the exact opposite of the rest of Scripture! Scripture is about God showing me exactly who I am: nothing until He saves me and makes me everything.

Just to clarify: I am NOT gonna start saying "You're wrong! This is what The Good Samaritan really means!" Just... Scripture is deeper than any first glance, and I love when God peels back a layer to show the gems underneath.

Man, isn't our God awesome!?!

Wanna praise Him with me? 😊😇😄

~Dolly

Focus!

My focus has been so off lately!

Oh, yeah, hi!

Basically I've been focusing almost entirely on me, even while praying for a shift away from that! It was honestly getting really frustrating because I actually do want to focus on God as center of my life. Also, I wanna be aware of other people and be able to care for them with Jesus' love. I can't do that if my eyes are on myself all the time!

The problem was, I knew what the problem was. Just not how to fix it! SO FRUSTRATING!

Last night God gave me a bit o' insight.

See, here I was, praying for change. For my focus to shift off of me. For God to work for me and in me so that I could serve Him better. He wants my help after all, right? And while He's at it, could I get a good night's sleep with a side of energy and encouragement in the morning?

Basically, the focus was still on me. I wanted to be a better little version of myself without putting in the effort. How self-centered is that?!?

Anyway, last night I prayed for 3 other people, only stopping on myself to ask forgiveness for sins and maybe to ask for something I was praying over someone else, for myself, too.

This morning, I woke up energized and encouraged. Because this time I put in the energy to concentrate on things beyond myself!

Something else, though. Just to try to keep things balanced out.

Those other prayers were not useless. After all, God's answering them! Even though they were selfish prayers, that just means I was still stuck in the problem. However, I was searching for a way out, genuinely wanting to do the right thing, just blind as to how to get there. I believe God honored the true heart behind them.

All that to say, I mostly included my first prayers in a kinda derogatory context to show a contrast. God gave me a gift of growth, an 'after', which can be seen most clearly when contrasted with the 'before'.

Anyway, I was just encouraged by what God showed me last night, and I'd like to (hopefully) encourage someone else. (aka you)

Keep seeking God, even when things are frustrating and every opportunity seems like a dead end. Keep asking, seeking, and knocking on His door. Basically, just bug God! I don't think, somehow, that He'll actually be annoyed. I mean, the Bible even says to bug Him until He gives us an answer! Jacob wrestled with God and was blessed, Jesus talked about a widow bugging a jerky judge until he gave a fair ruling, and He also told the story of a guy knocking on his friend's door in the middle of the night and getting what he needed because of his persistence!

God isn't zoning out, only paying attention if we bug Him enough. He loves us and takes care of us! But by bugging Him, we show our commitment to change, and He can work with that as we give ourselves to Him.

Hope you guys are encouraged and having as great of a day as I am so far! Thanks so much for reading, commenting, subscribing. . . oh wait, this isn't YouTube.

Love ya'll!

~Dolly

God at Eventide (and Hard Times)

Everyone has (or should have) that one place they can get away to and think. For me that's my bed at night when I should be sleeping. Insomnia ftw! Sometimes I think about a certain friend I'm grateful for or worried about, a problem or joyful happening in my own life, or I just mentally solve world problems.

I was doing that last night, thinking about all the suffering in the world and how that can be such a huge obstacle for people when they try to get a good look at God. And in my head I was just all like, "Well, God made everything perfect and we messed it up and He's not gonna do anything to violate our freewill, so in the end, it's our fault and God's still great and cool and perfect."

And then I stopped. Because that is such a pat answer, and no wonder some people get annoyed at us Christians for trying to look like we have it all together. The thing is, I absolutely hate oversimplified, mental answers to complicated, heart problems. While they may be more or less true, they don't satisfy because they come across as so shallow. Also, I (very humbly) pride myself on being a pretty open, transparent person. That annoying person who responds honestly to, "How are you?" with, "I'm really exhausted and depressed today, how are you?" (Insert brave smile here.)

I can be honest on that because it's pretty simple. No existential crisis there! But the big, heart-wrenching, gut-twisting questions we encounter when seeing an innocent child suffer? Who has a really satisfying answer? I just realized that I've been covering up and sticking band-aids on these things when they need hardcore stitches.

So, last night, in bed, I let go of any illusion of having all the pieces in place. I don't have an answer, except to do what I can to help the person next to me. Not much of an answer, is it? Well, it's all I've got. I warned you already that I don't know everything yet!

Then I prayed, begging God to look at this poor, little, hurting, bruised and bleeding world. At each hurting, bruised, and bleeding heart. I prayed for healing and truth to shine through. I prayed love over people I should (?) hate, because they have a story, and because God loves them. I prayed for conviction of sin, too. And I told God straight up that I don't have any clue what's up with all this. I told Him I sure hope He's got some good answers for all this. (Good answers being the ones that He's famous for, the ones that cut straight to the heart.)

And then I read my Bible a little and went to sleep.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I might just go read The Case for Faith by Lee Strobel and lick my apologetic wounds.

~Dolly