Killing It! (Not Quite Literally)

Thanks for the great pics, Jessica K.! Love you!

I feel so grown-up! 😊

Story Time:

Mom and I went shopping today, which we haven't done for a LONG time because she's been sick. Our main reason for heading to town was to look for a very specific, very bright, very orange shade of paint. However, Mom thought we'd better head to the WinCo next door so we could say we did something useful.

So. We headed to Wilco first, since they have a huge paint selection, and I accidentally picked the perfect color first try. There was much excitement. A sample can was bought. 😇 Also, we were super excited to find a pale, lemon yellow. (as opposed to a butter yellow.) A lemon yellow is more of a "true" yellow, while the butter tones have a creaminess that dilutes their cheeriness. They're more soothingly warm than brightly invigorating, and brightly invigorating is what we're going for. I think that actually describes Mom's character almost as well as her color preferences!

Can you tell we both like color? 😅

Where was I going with this? Oh right!

We headed on to Winco. Found Orange Spice Black Tea in bulk and got groceries for our 1.5 households. And I got whole mushrooms and a cherry tomato plant! #SimplePleasures 💗

But then. . . Did I mention that Mom's been sick? Well, her energy hasn't fully returned yet.

She had to take a break before we got everything. Being the soon-to-be-adult, loving daughter that I am, I volunteered to go and finish getting groceries so Mom wouldn't hafta feel pressured to get going again. She gave me her list, and off I went!

The cart was heavy. And wanted to go any direction but straight. Which means that there I was, purposefully pushing a swerving cart while grunting and groaning and straining to make corners and muttering things like, "Oh goodness." "Whoops." "Come ON!"

I don't really blame people for getting outta my way. 😁

But.

I FINDED EVERYTHING! And it didn't take too long! Although, I'm pretty sure I got done so expediently because I was walking through my own personal Red Sea. (AKA People were parting before me and I walked through on dry land.) 😏

But when I got back, I was very proud of me for saving the day. 💪 I was pushing a large cart in an unfamiliar store by myself for the first time in anything bigger than Halsey's Select Market. Which isn't a big deal, probably. But I was impressed! 😜

It's just another (albeit small) step to getting where I'm gonna be. And progress, no matter how minuscule, is progress. So I will choose to be encouraged by the little things in life, the small accomplishments, because big leaps in life are few and far between. Living for them is just discouraging after awhile.

I choose to let me be encouraged.

So there.

Cuz this Grown-Up-ness stuff? I'm killing it. Especially since I managed to not kill anyone with a grocery cart this afternoon.

~Dolly

Growin' Up

[Disclaimer: I haven't even come close to experiencing the 2nd verse yet!]

        

Life is a weird thing. We spend the first good chunk of it running to our parent(s) when something goes wrong. Hurting heart? Mo-om! Crashed the car? Um. . . Daddy?

And then we get to that weird mystery land of adulthood, and long chats on the bed with Mom turn into rushed phone calls, and days puttering around with Dad become "I wish. . . maybe this weekend?"

And somewhere in between we get stuck in the no-man's-land of growing up. Where we wanna run home to Mom and Dad, cuz we still need them. But then we wanna learn to be independent, so we're practicing that too. And somehow we (Or, me. Have you noticed I'm just talking about myself, yet?) always end up running in the wrong direction. Like, "I need to grow up and learn to face things, so I will sit through this anxiety attack without doing something dumb," but then, "Man, I really need chocolate right now. I'll just go over and see if Mom feels like sharing," and also, "Internet!!!!"

I know, it may be hard to see what could possibly be backwards in my priorities. 😄 And even harder to see why "my" truck is out of gas. 😆

I'll let ya just figure it out, since I'm a lazy author. (Have you noticed the posts getting shorter?)

Back to the subject at hand: I could just keep complaining(ish), I guess.

But, ya know what? This weird limbo-land is working: I'm learning some things! Like how to set boundaries, since I'm growing past the point where my parents can do that for me all the time. Or . . . I might as well make it a list. 😑

I'm Learning About:

• Setting boundaries. We talked about that already.
• Cleaning! Because there's no one else to blame a mess on!
• Self-Control. Because who else is gonna make me behave? I hafta be responsible. 😒
• Cooking. With very few ingredients, and with nutrition in mind. Because, as tempting as it is, I actually can't live off of Cheez-Its and Lindor Truffles, apparently. I know! I was shocked too! But on the plus side crepes are WAY easier than I thought they'd be!
• Patience. As in, "Put off 'til tomorrow what you could technically do at 11:30 tonight."

So,maybe this age-old (?) rite if passage isn't just an annoying li'l speed-bump to get over with as soon as humanly possible.

However, that's exactly how I wanna deal with it, so there!

Never mind. Apparently I'm not entirely prepped for grown-up-ness yet.  I'll keep working on that.

Letting you know how that goes, it's. . .

~Dolly

P.S. I know I'm posting a lot about transitions and stuff lately (see Lifekins, for example), but that's just where I'm at: settling into a new home and all the stuff that goes along with that. You can check out other posts to the right if you're tired of this theme!

Not an Evangelist

If you hang out around church-y people a lot you've probably heard something like, "All Christians are called to be evangelists."

Well. I'm about to get all defensive up in here!

Because I'm not involved in evangelism. At all. *GASP* I know, how dare I??? What's wrong with me? Maybe I need prayer for whatever's coming between me and God.

Or maybe God didn't make me for evangelism.

Shockingly scandalous idea, I know.

But, I mean, even my basic personality isn't really suited to spreading God's story to people who haven't really heard it yet.

I Am:    

• Sensitive to Others' Emotions
• Careful not to be Offensive
• Naturally Comforting
• Needing Affirmation that my Work is of Value
• Conflict-Averse
• Vulnerable to Criticism
• Needing Appreciation for my Services/Efforts

None of these things really lend themselves to typical evangelism, which can be approached carefully, but eventually boils down to, "You need to change to be saved," if we're honest. Because telling someone they need to change will quite possibly hurt/offend them. And they might react with criticism or conflict. In many cases, the person definitely won't react with appreciation/affirmation.

Wow, I've actually never laid it all out like this, but God's been definitely wise in calling me away from evangelism! I mean, these aren't just things I've learned or developed somehow. This is the bare-bones basic of my intrinsic character, the one He made me with.

Because, you know what these traits fit well with? Encouraging Others! And right now there are at least three younger girls in the Church that confide in me when they have rough junk going on. In fact, somehow I always end up in situations that involve other people telling me all about their life: the good, bad, and ugly.

Somehow, I never end up in situations that involve other people asking me all about my faith: the practical, mundane, and miraculous.

It's not like I'm seeking one situation and avoiding the other. It's just how life happens, like God just kinda nudges me into certain people, but not others. And I'm cool with that. I'll quit feeling like some sort of inferior Christian just because God won't squeeze into our little boxes. Somehow, no matter how we push and squish, He won't fit! He's pretty cool that way. 😊

Have a good day being whoever you're supposed to be!

~Dolly

Lifekins

Life can still be cool.

Hi there! I'm sure, because of my inflated blogger ego, that absolutely everyone is just dying to know what's been happening since that last post where that weirdo hugged me! Well, here I am to satisfy your deep cravings to know exactly what I think of my small little corner of the world. 😇

Sarcastic much? Of coouuurrrse not!      

So, what has been up, to use the vernacular of young ones?

I am going to a counselor! She's pretty fantastic. 😊 Good at listening, practical enough to give good advice, but emotional enough to relate to. I've only gone to two sessions so far, and Mom was in at least part of both of them. It always makes me happy when other people like my parents and can accept that I respect them. At least somewhat, anyway. Not like I'm some saintly model daughter or anything.

Also. . . I got a psychic evaluation! 😁 No, I is kidding. And still spiritually safe. It was psychiatric. After just a couple minutes of talking to the guy, he said, "I know exactly what's going on, and I know exactly what to do about it. Probably never expected to hear that from a shrink, huh?" Yeah, he's not your average pysche dude. Which is definitely cool.

Last, but most importantly, perhaps. . . I MOVEDED OUTS!!!!

ish.

So, I'm living in the apartment in the shop on our property. Mom and Dad are still paying for me. I'm still following all the rules and everything. So. . . not really independent. It's more of my emotional retreat from the busy, crazy world. I have time to cook and clean and learn how to do adult-y things. Sort of a trial run of adulthood!

So, that's what's been happening!

But my blogger ego, as stated before, is inflated, so I betcha wanna know not only where I am in life, but where I wanna go! Well, here I come, once again ready to satisfy your curiosity!

Well, hopefully the psych stuff starts paying off, and I can get a job that also starts paying. 😊Maybe at JC's Dutch Bros. . . 😏 to start.

Then I wanna invest in a car, or pay for a car if I already need one to get to work.

Once I'm earning some $, I'll be paying the parentals for rent, food utilities, etc. The goal (obviously) is to become financially and emotionally independent! I mean, emotionally I'll need people. Everyone does! But I need to be able to get through depression or anxiety attacks safely, whether or not Mommy's there to hold me and talk through it. I need to pull up my big-girl pants. . . skirt, and be responsible. Or whatever. 😉

So, that's where I'm wanting to head short-term. Long-term? (Cuz ya'll are still curious, I'm sure.)

I wanna go to college! Maybe.

If I do end up in that mess, I might go for interior design or psychology. Slightly different options, I know! 😄 But I think design would utilize my creativity. However, psychology absolutely fascinates me! But I already discuss it enough that I'm pretty sure I'd drive everybody crazy with it if it was "my thing", plus, it'd probably get super emotionally burdening. So yeah. But those are the two options I've been looking at for a few months, at least.

So, yeah! Life!

I think that's it. And I hafta go to my li'l home now, where there is no blessed internet.

So see ya!

~Dolly

Loved

I am loved.

Sometimes I just need a reminder.

But maybe not from a random guy on the sidewalk.

I mean, there I was, walking along with a group of friends. I'd dropped back to pull my hoodie on, and Kass had dropped back to join me.

Suddenly I felt arms around me, and saw a sleeve I didn't recognize. Everyone I knew was ahead of us, so. . . what the. . . ? I looked back. Straight into the face of a random guy who smelled like he was on. . . something. I thought it was realization that flickered across his face, realization that I wasn't who he thought I was. But then, as I kept walking he came around in front of us, looked me straight in the eyes and said, "I just. . . I love you," then walked off.

We kept walking.

"Did you know him?"

"Nope."

"Hey guys! Some random guy just hugged Dolly."

It was an unusual start to our hang-out time, to say the least.

But at least I knew I was loved! 😉😊😝

It felt strange, I guess, but not that strange. I 'm kinda used to it because random people have always walked up to me like they know me. Except, it was better when I was younger and still cute because then they handed me $20s. Ah, I miss the good old days. 😛

Yes, I'll admit it, I was spoiled. 😁 But honestly, I think it may have helped me be more susceptible to danger. Because, I think my only reaction to that stranger dude was to say "thank you" as he disappeared. #selfdefense ftw!

Thank goodness for Kassidy!!!

But this whole thing does raise a weird question. Why can I accept love from a random stranger better than from myself, or even God sometimes? Why would I totally be fine with some dude saying he loves me (bad idea, I know, but he just walked away), but I can't believe God, the only really safe One, when He says, "I love you, child"?

I mean, I could cite the reason that God's love doesn't always feel present. But it's not like that guy's around all the time to prove himself.

I could argue that circumstances seem to show that God's love isn't real. But is hugging a relatively helpless girl really showing love? (More like sexual assault, right?)

I think that it's because I can be totally fine knowing that dude doesn't really love me. But my whole life hangs on whether or not God loves me, so I have to keep making sure, testing the limits of His love to see if He's true.

I'd love to say He's never failed me, and it's probably true. But honestly, I can't say that with certainty right now. I'm under fire, and having to count on Him, and if I make it through this, then I will say,

"My God hasn't failed me yet. I'll face another day. His love for me is true and He is honest. I trust."

Until that day, I keep hanging on to Him because I have to. 

On that day, I will hang on to Him because He carried me.

Until I'm under fire again. . . Huh, humans, am I right?

~Dolly

On Reason and Reactions

Well, that last post didn't do so well. Apparently me writing a big, long thing about my animals isn't the quality content you've gotten used to on this blog. So this is a deep, emotional and intellectual post, as you can see by the scholarly-sounding title. 😄

First, though, I might as well give you a little background.

We are studying Fyodor Dostoyevsky in English. Our class just started Crime and Punishment, but I read The Dream of a Ridiculous Man as well, just to cover my bases. I'd definitely advise everyone to read The Dream of a Ridiculous Man, since it's super short and pretty intriguing. Anyway, Dostoyevsky was a romanticist Christian in a Russia full of nihilists. The two views contrast each other pretty sharply: Romanticism involves looking towards a goal of perfection, and nihilism sees everything as hopeless and meaningless, and perfection as impossible. Obviously, I'm not a well-researched philosopher or anything. These are just my generalized views of nihilism and romanticism.

As far as I can tell, Dostoyevsky's writing seems to involve a satirical view of nihilism that points to romanticism as the answer to the problems he sees in nihilism. The Dream of a Ridiculous Man shows this writing technique very obviously and concisely.

Moving on: Another belief system we've discussed in English class is that of Utilitarianism, which pretty much states that whatever pleases the majority becomes morally right. It's apparently closely related to nihilism. Our teacher posted this question:

In Tuesday's class, we discussed how Fyodor Dostoevsky wrote in an anti-nihilistic style. We also discussed that utilitarianism is closely linked to nihilism. Again, utilitarianism is the doctrine that actions are right if they are useful or for the benefit of a majority. In this discussion post, describe some of the pitfalls of utilitarianism.

I'm actually pretty satisfied with my response. On a high-school level only, of course. I still would love to have a LOT more knowledge about argument styles and making a strong argument for or against any subject. Anyway, here's my response:

Utilitarianism can sound good on the surface, especially to people whose natural tendency is to try to keep everyone happy. After all, no one can please everyone, so a majority's happiness is kind of the best one can hope for.

However, (and it's a big however) utilitarianism, as all human attempts to reconstruct morality, has at least one very big problem. Here's one problem for this belief system to answer: What if the minority in a specific setting is a majority in a larger sense?

One example of the problem this presents is the Salem Witch Trials, a gruesome and tragic historic event. The majority of people in Salem were living in terror of witchcraft. This fear was alleviated by the legalized murder of anyone thought to be a witch. However, the witch-hunting craze in Europe was ending, and in other parts of the world, witchcraft was viewed as powerful and not to be messed with; people went to witch doctors for help with their physical, emotional, or spiritual problems. So the 'majority' in Salem that wanted to kill "witches" was probably really a minority in the bigger scope of things.

On which would a utilitarian base his or her morality?


Obviously definitely not beyond a high-school level. But for where I'm at in life, I think it's not TOO bad. 😁 I mean, for once in my life, I made a point somewhat concisely! 😆

What do you guys think? This stuff majorly fascinates me, for sure! In fact, when I finish Crime and Punishment, you just might hear more on the subject. This is more of an introduction-to-the-subject post. 😉

Hope you have a wonderful day! And please, keep a balanced view of life. If you're a romanticist or nihilist, I'd love to know! Because we need to talk, hahaha! 😅

Writing from the heart (or mind?),

~Dolly

Review

I feel a post welling up inside my heart. Or maybe I'm just needing chocolate. Well, this seems to be the healthier option, soooo. . . . Yeah, I dunno what this'll be about, honestly. Welcome to my brain!

Ok, where to start? MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Alright, that's that. The (possible) post is firmly settled in my head now. I'll do one of those stereotypical "Year in Review"s. But please bear with me, because this post should be just as honest as the normal, occasional stuff I post here.

Let's see. . . what did happen this year?

I got my license! At this point, I've had it for over 6 months and can drive a few other people! This helps me pretend I can have a social life. The only problem is, going out with friends usually requires money. So I kinda keep running out. 2017 Resolution #1: Budgeting!!! Hahaha! 😅

I started this blog this year, so that's cool. I guess. Guys? Please tell me this is cool? Please? 😉 Also learned how to use emojis on here this year! Obviously.

And. . . we got kittens this year! And my (excuse me, our. Our family's) pets were just awesome and joy-inducing in general. Just look at them!

This is my fluffy. She made it through her injury this year, and is just as sweet and     

elegant as ever. She knows just how to          

comfort me by giving moral support without

                                             being too pushy.

 This Coco. She's much sweeter than the picture makes her look! She comes running to see me when I'm lonely, and wants nothing better than to snuggle and be loved.

This is Herbie. Isn't he cute? He's probably the most encouraging person. . . wait, no. Right. He's a dog. Well, he's almost the most encouraging thing in my life! Seriously, I'm about to cry just thinking of it.  His own personal happiness is simply contagious! He just loves people! And he's so careful of things he knows are physically vulnerable to him! Like kittens. Or me. 💗

 This is Ebony (Ebby (Ebs)) He's pretty new to us, but already dear. He's a bit of a cautious boy, and he's SO fluffy!!! Also, he absolutely loves playing with dangly things, which is adorable! He gets along with everyone by very sweetly manipulating them. 😂 But he's floofy and cuddly and sweet and adorable and therefore completely worth it! 💖 

This is Israel (Izzy (Iz)). He's a rambunctious little fellow who can sometimes annoy Cali. They're really close, though. But look at his lovely little face! He likes being petted, but gets impatient with the stillness required to be held and cuddled.

This is dear Cali. After her brother Theo died, she really got attached to us, and was lonely. Now her life has fulfillment again as a surrogate mama to Ebby and Izzy. She's so sweet! She really loves us and starts purring if we even start coming close to her, not even petting or holding her yet!

So those are some really great things from this year. But we also had to leave our church of many years, Grandpa and Grandma died really unexpectedly in a car wreck, and my depression got so. much. worse. 

So yeah, this was a rough year. Um, lemme rephrase that. Yeah, this year stank.

Ok, maybe I should just gloss over the negative stuff after all. I mean, it's almost Christmas! Everyone hypothetically appreciates honesty, I know. But ya'll probably don't want negativity (albeit honest) ruining the holidays for you. How selfish you are! I thought my readers would be better than that! 😜 Okay, yeah, I'll quit kidding around.

This summer was weird. I kinda couldn't work by myself all the time because of depression and separation anxiety. But then, my great friend Hannah and my relationship grew a ton! And she introduced me to some really fantastic tea! 

Another two-sided coin: We left our church of, like, 7 years! But now we've met so many other awesome people at Willamette Christian Center, and we're all learning and growing! It's so cool to see how God works things out!

I think our whole year was like that. Two-sided coins. It was so hard! But I also learned a lot. Unfortunately, lessons learned don't last as long as pain and scars. Well, I guess that's something to work on in the new year! Well, for the first week of it, anyway. 😅

Have Yourselves All Merry Little Christmases!

~Dolly

Focus!

My focus has been so off lately!

Oh, yeah, hi!

Basically I've been focusing almost entirely on me, even while praying for a shift away from that! It was honestly getting really frustrating because I actually do want to focus on God as center of my life. Also, I wanna be aware of other people and be able to care for them with Jesus' love. I can't do that if my eyes are on myself all the time!

The problem was, I knew what the problem was. Just not how to fix it! SO FRUSTRATING!

Last night God gave me a bit o' insight.

See, here I was, praying for change. For my focus to shift off of me. For God to work for me and in me so that I could serve Him better. He wants my help after all, right? And while He's at it, could I get a good night's sleep with a side of energy and encouragement in the morning?

Basically, the focus was still on me. I wanted to be a better little version of myself without putting in the effort. How self-centered is that?!?

Anyway, last night I prayed for 3 other people, only stopping on myself to ask forgiveness for sins and maybe to ask for something I was praying over someone else, for myself, too.

This morning, I woke up energized and encouraged. Because this time I put in the energy to concentrate on things beyond myself!

Something else, though. Just to try to keep things balanced out.

Those other prayers were not useless. After all, God's answering them! Even though they were selfish prayers, that just means I was still stuck in the problem. However, I was searching for a way out, genuinely wanting to do the right thing, just blind as to how to get there. I believe God honored the true heart behind them.

All that to say, I mostly included my first prayers in a kinda derogatory context to show a contrast. God gave me a gift of growth, an 'after', which can be seen most clearly when contrasted with the 'before'.

Anyway, I was just encouraged by what God showed me last night, and I'd like to (hopefully) encourage someone else. (aka you)

Keep seeking God, even when things are frustrating and every opportunity seems like a dead end. Keep asking, seeking, and knocking on His door. Basically, just bug God! I don't think, somehow, that He'll actually be annoyed. I mean, the Bible even says to bug Him until He gives us an answer! Jacob wrestled with God and was blessed, Jesus talked about a widow bugging a jerky judge until he gave a fair ruling, and He also told the story of a guy knocking on his friend's door in the middle of the night and getting what he needed because of his persistence!

God isn't zoning out, only paying attention if we bug Him enough. He loves us and takes care of us! But by bugging Him, we show our commitment to change, and He can work with that as we give ourselves to Him.

Hope you guys are encouraged and having as great of a day as I am so far! Thanks so much for reading, commenting, subscribing. . . oh wait, this isn't YouTube.

Love ya'll!

~Dolly

Thank You

Happy Thanksgiving! Here's another blog post that's more for me than you, isn't that exciting? 😄

Anyway, here's why: I'm not thankful enough! Surprise surprise, right? I mean, we all fall into that category at some point. I think.

So here are some things I'm thankful for:

I figured out how to get emojis into blog posts!

I still have a little bit of battery life on the laptop so I can stay in this comfy chair a bit longer.

Music.

Math is starting to make a bit of sense!

We don't need to fear our president-elect, ISIS, cancer, or anything else. We have a God who beat up death 💀 out in the parking lot! He can handle stuff. 😏😎

My parents are still in love. 💕

God's got me covered in His grace. He looks at my dirty, stinky self and calls me worthy and beloved! 😯

Chocolate.

Caffeine.

I'm physically healthy.

Someday my depression will be gone. Forever. I can't even imagine it. 😁

Tomorrow is a new start.

There are so many wonderful, loving people in my life!

Google.  🎵Google is my friend..🎶

Christmas!!!


And of course, lots more. 😊But this is a start.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, everyone!!!

~Dolly

Merry election, everybody! No, I'm not being sarcastic.  :D

It is 8:46 pm here in Oregon, and I'm keeping track of election results on Google. Honestly, this is interesting me quite a bit!

The funny thing is, I'm not even really tense! Well, not much. I gots peace.  :)

Who'll win? Who knows? I don't. But I know who does!

Whoever our next president is, they can do whatever they want, they can't stop my God! He is in charge, and no political leader can affect that. Isn't it crazy? I'm almost giddy just thinking about it!

Thank God for His POWER, amen?

I'm praying for God's will to be done in our country. I'm thanking Him for His plan, whatever it is. And whoever our next president is, I'll pray for him or her. But I'll try not to worry about things. God's got this. :)

~Dolly

Hopeless Dreams

Before you assume by the title that this is a negative post and skim past, STOP! :) It has a happy ending!

Okay, now that that's outta the way, I can get started.

This is an annoyingly rough season of life for me. I, like pretty much every other teenager, at least on the interwebs, am reaching toward adulthood while still clinging to childhood. It feels like hanging in air, holding tight to the future and the past, both of which are moving in different directions. Something's gotta give. And I'm afraid that it'll end up being me.

Add to that my uncertainty about my own emotional stability. I wanna reach toward the future, I really do, but what if I make plans, or actually move out or get a job or something and then depression or anxiety hits and I have no one to be there with me and I can't fulfill my own expectations/obligations which will increase anxiety and I fail a class or get fired? I'm just not yet mature enough to handle adulthood, even though I'm old enough to really, really wanna be in that part of life.

I just realized, as I was typing, that I've been afraid. See? Ya'll are walking my journeys with me!

Anyway.

I just got back from a youth retreat (What up, MyWillamette!) that was focused on fear, and running to Jesus instead of just running period or trying to power through alone.

The last night at campfire, Scott stopped playing guitar/singing "Break Every Chain" (which I slightly hate. Still. Read on.) and said that he felt like God had something to say to someone, he didn't know who. Basically, maybe someone was being chained by something and they just needed reassurance that God can break every chain that binds us. There is power in Jesus' name.

I don't know if that was meant for me, but God spoke to me anyway, and gave me this idea of broken hope. See, I'd been feeling so bound by circumstances, namely depression, that I'd completely given up. I'd entirely forgotten about the part where Jesus says to keep asking, keep bugging God about our problems until they're somehow resolved. I felt like God didn't wanna heal me, didn't care that I was hurting. And I listened to those lying feelings and believed them.

But.

He's showing me (Yes, I'm still learning this. That was just the start of the process.) that those were lies. He can heal me, and He wants to! Maybe my depression won't just go away, but God can heal my heart from this sense of betrayal and trust lost. He can heal my hope. That's the phrase that's been running through my head, and I love it because it's true.

Life's still hard and painful. But I have a God that is in my circumstances with me, but also outside them, and He has power over them! Talk about perspective!

Now comes the hard part of living like this is true. Just because I know something, doesn't mean I can put it into practice right away. I'm most definitely a fallible human bean! But there's still hope, because God's started showing me this truth, and I trust Him to finish this work He's begun in my life. (The Bible, somewhere. Phillipins 1:6- I found it!)

I guess, this was a really long way to say: "Thank You, Lord, for hope. I obviously can't make it through this life without it."


Thanks for reading!

~Dolly